I'm stuck...in a rut that i desperately need to get out of. I feel like I haven't experienced life. There is still so much that I want to do. Everyday is the same thing. I get up at 6:30am to hop in the shower and start getting ready for the day. After I'm done, I wake Hailey up, get her ready for daycare and head out the door. I head to daycare and then to work, pushing it, walking through the doors of my building at 7:59am. I come to my desk and do the same thing every day...just different numbers. I get the same mail in the morning, afternoon and evening. I take lunch at exactly 1:00pm and take my breaks at 10:30am and 3:30pm where I go use the eliptical for 7 minutes and then do abs for 3 minutes. I get off at 5:00pm and head back to daycare to pick Hailey back up. On the ride home, we sing and dance to music, park, head up the stairs where I begin dinner. We eat, then I clean the kitchen and start some laundry. After which I sit and watch Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy and then whatever show is on after that, depending on the night. Around 8:30pm, I put Hailey to bed and start preparing for my day tomorrow, making lunch, packing the diaper bag and picking out my clothes....the same exactly thing every day. I'm bored. My job is horrible, Michael and I don't do much together and I wish things could be different. I wish I could work part time so I could do the chores during the day and have more family time at night. More time to play with Hailey and snuggle with Michael. I wish I could just sit and relax for a few minutes and take a deep breath to realize how happy I am with life. But am I happy? No...I'm bored...I'm stuck, I live a monotonous life. There are so many things that I want to do. I want to take the time to learn how to cook, I want to be able to spend time with my daughter, take her to the park, rough house with her. I want to be able to spend some quality time with Michael so we don't argue as much. I want to finish school. I want to be able to focus more attention to my business. I want a less stressful job with more contact with people. I want to be happy....
Even Unto Death
7 years ago
2 comments:
Stephanie ... you'll be in my prayers. I hear you with the day in and day out. It is frustrating and wears on the spirit of who we are.
There will be better (more exciting and fulfilling) days.
Stephanie - you probably don't know me, but I know you. My brother Jordan was friends with Jennie when they were like in middle school - and you were a lot younger!
It will get better - I promise! I have days were I wish I still worked full-time just to have a break from the kids! I think as wives and mothers, there is so much that we do and take on that goes unnoticed and that is tiring and frustrating. I'll be thinking of you!
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