To Spend or Not to Spend....

I'm going to start by giving you a little bit of background....

I grew up at a very young age. When I think back on my childhood and growing up, I can tell you that I remember worrying about important issues more than going out and having fun. Money was always a concern in my family growing up. I remember my mom basically balancing the checkbook down to zero. There were times when we had no idea how we were going to eat or how we were going to fix our car, or even if our car was going to work another day. I learned to make do with what I had and I too took on my mother’s concerns of our well being and financial issues.

Growing up that way had its advantages. I learned to not take things for granted. I also learned how to save and shop sales and deals and that if I didn’t have the money for something that I wanted, that wasn’t a necessity, that I needed to work for it and save until I could buy it. I also learned to know the things I should pay full price for and of course, everything you want will eventually go on sale. My sister is not one to shop sales. At least she wasn’t before she had her little one. There was a sweatshirt that Jen and I both wanted. She bought it right away and paid $40 for it (it was a Gap hooded zip up). I waited a few weeks and paid $10. :)

In addition to its advantages, it also has disadvantages. I’ve learned to be pretty frugal. I’m more of a saver than a spender. I do love to spend and when we have the money, I love spending it, but I prefer to save. Saving is a safety net for me. Having that money there as a back up literally makes me feel safe. I would rather put money into savings or additional on to a loan to pay it down faster...to better my situation. Because of this...I've never really truly had fun. It's hard for me to spend drop a lot of money all at once. I spend it little by little, eventually equaling up to the same amount that I would spend at once, but that seems safer to me.

So, here is my predicament....our tax return. Every year we put it towards our bills and savings. We never spend it on anything fun. The problem is, we really need to play it safe, but we are getting tired of not living life....me especially. So, should we spend it on something fun, or should we play it safe like normal and hopefully, some day, get to the point where we can live a little...???